System audio

I’ve been meaning to get back into playing with music again for ages. Quite recently – actually, it was a couple of years ago now – I put my toe back into the water. And though I was only ballsing around with code that already exists, this is the closest I’ve come to programming in years:

Stuck at 17

I’m declaring the 100 limerick project a failure. When I go through the motions I end up writing rhyming sentences which aren’t remotely funny. Believe me—I’d settle for remotely funny. The mistake I’ve made is choosing a writing project. I do enough writing already, and I set my bar too high. I need something I can just be happy having done each do—creating without worrying or thinking, almost.

I’m going to keep writing limericks, but they’re going in a notes file. And I’ll write them when the fit or the idea takes me, which is how it works best.

New idea…

16. Midhurst

A young undergrad from Midhurst
Had grades which were always the worst,
But was an expert undresser
Of a certain professor
And so graduated with a First.


Giles interviewed Russell about planning – Russell’s flavour of planning. It’s very interesting, even if you’re not that sort of planner, and not thinking of becoming one. Part of me wishes I’d given this sort of thing a go when I was starting out, when I didn’t realise I had options. I like the bit about making yourself useful – that chimed with me. From that point of view, it’s also sort of about succeeding in a corporate environment, which is useful. Maybe I’ll blog about some of my corporate experiences. Now that I’ve had a few years to put it in perspective, it might be time.

15. Kilkenny

An extravagant chap from Kilkenny
Needed to spend a penny,
“I’m off to the shop,
To buy a floor mop!”
Lo, he ended up spending many.

14. Woodstock

There was a young man from Woodstock
Whose knees would incessantly knock.
In his latter years
They fitted him with gears
And turned him into a clock.

Three ideas

  1. Thinking about what I could do after my hundred limericks, I came up with recording a minute of sound every day and putting it on the internet. It could be a machine, or a place, but not a performance of any sort – at least not by me.
  2. For ages I’ve been wanting to do some audio interviews, but perhaps I’m setting the bar a bit high. Maybe I’ll try to record a series of 5-minute conversations with different people. Conversations and not interviews being the key, I think. Completely free form. One per week feels about right, though even that might be difficult.
  3. And then I thought it’d be nice to interview Alice every year on her birthday. She’ll probably hate it so I suppose I’d need to keep it short. But it’d be good to ask her the same few questions every year. I have 9 months to come up with them. It feels like that might grow into something.

13. Tintagel

A young sous chef from Tintagel,
Carried a spatula round in her satchel.
It was awfully small,
Hardly a spatula at all,
In fact you might call it a spatule.

12. Muff

There was an old herbert from Muff,
Whose skin was exceedingly rough,
He came up with a caper
To procure some sandpaper,
But, it turned out, not nearly enough.

11. Port Talbot

There young was a from man Port Talbot
Who words he muddled his so all but
Make to failed sense
Which ever him so made tense
But he down himself calmed playing ballfoot

Report smells

I just came across a text file labelled baby notes. I think I wrote these at one of those awful classes they make you go to before you have a baby. I like some of the little snippets I wrote down, though:

  • Report smells
  • Wash eyes outwards when bathing
  • After bath, put on a hat
  • Bamboo after a month or so
  • Cooler better than warmer

Some life lessons for us all there, I feel.


I had basically this idea during the 2006 world cup:

A modern Subbuteo set to better reflect the modern game. You know the sort of thing: Cantona’s flying kick, Zidane’s head butt, players crowding the ref (with their hemispheroid bases all merged together). I even came up with a plan for making it involving 3D scanners and printers.

I was going to say I’m posting this as a reminder to act on ideas, but let’s be realistic. I should at least blog them, though.

10. Cheadle

There was a young beadle from Cheadle
With a divine errand to read all
The scripture and text
(There’pon to reflect)
The best bit had a camel and needle

Words and phrases of which I am not a fan

For reasons, I made this list the other day. These words aren’t always bad (though some are), they just happened to be bad in the contexts in which I was coming across them, which, for reasons, I won’t go into.

  • legacy
  • ensure
  • in order to
  • successful
  • &
  • implement
  • functionality
  • ensuring
  • undertake
  • exit (as a verb)
  • pipeline
  • as far as possible
  • timely manner
  • provide
  • vision
  • wider
  • contingent
  • in which
  • aligned
  • recruit
  • additional
  • enable
  • obtain
  • business

As a fun game, you could print these out, then, next to them, write 19 better alternatives for each. Some may only work in specific contexts. That’s okay. We’re almost always working in a specific context. Specific is good.

Have fun!

9. Ryme Intrinseca

A japester from Ryme Intrinseca
Demanded a rhyme for Intrinseca
“How long will this take
For Apollo’s sake?”
I’ll have it done in approximately ten seca

Thanks for suggesting Ryme Intrinseca, Giles. Sheesh.